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Sunday, April 28, 2024

Those Bad 'Rise of Skywalker' Rumors Are False

Recovered from the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker footage from D23 yet? If you have, go back and watch it some more. If you haven't, frankly we here at Cantina Talk haven't either. Either way, if you need something to distract you—and you happen to have a Nintendo Switch—here's our suggestion: Star Wars Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast is being released for the Switch at the end of the month. For everyone else, well, you could always read on and just surrender to the feeling that the next three months are just killing time until we all head to the theaters again.

Is The Rise of Skywalker Being Rewritten at the Last Minute?

The Source: The initial rumor comes from trolls, the rebuttal from J.J. Abrams himself

Probability of Accuracy: It's not happening. Sorry, haters.

The Real Deal: For those paying attention to Star Wars chatter online, there's been a noticeable rise in chatter from certain folks claiming that Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is in deep trouble, with Disney unsure about what even happens in the movie at this point. (We're not going to link to such reports, because why reward such bad faith rumormongering?) The reason we mention all of this is because, simply, it's not true. Director J.J. Abrams is on record as saying that the last sequence in the movie was decided early on in the filmmaking process, and he told MarvelousTV at D23 Expo that the movie has actually been unusually unchanging during editing. "It's really been a bit unusual in that the editing process, much of what we have in the third act is exactly what we always had. And that's not always the case," he said, after clarifying "the ending is the ending." Well, we say clarifying, but it's not as if anyone outside of Abrams and the editors really know what that ending is just yet. Nonetheless: Don't believe reports of Disney being unsure about Rise of Skywalker.

The Bad Guys Become the Good Guys in Rise

The Source: Anonymously sourced fan Instagrams

Probability of Accuracy: Prepare to be cynical, but not necessarily dismissive …

The Real Deal: Could this be the Rise of Skywalker rumor mother lode? Perhaps, but that'll only be the case if these predictions all turn out to be true. The Bespin Bulletin Instagram account had a pretty bold set of potential spoilers recently, claiming that by the end of Rise bot Kylo Ren and General Hux will have found redemption, with the latter being a Resistance secret agent when the movie opens. As for Kylo, the report suggests that he will eventually team with Rey to fight off the true villains of the piece: Palpatine and the Knights of Ren. Oh, and not only will they share Anakin's lightsaber at some point—no, we're not sure which one, and he went through a bunch in the prequels—but Palpatine himself is going to be using a lightsaber too, which suggests that he's, you know, more than just a Force Ghost in the new movie. To be honest, a lot of this sounds like wish fulfillment and fake spoilerizing (especially that both Hux and Kylo will be redeemed), but it's also hard to rule all of it out. For now, treat it with suspicion, but bear it in mind as the movie gets closer and more footage gets released.

Rey Has a Suitable New Mentor

The Source: More anonymously sourced fan rumoring

Probability of Accuracy: Unlike the last rumors, this has an air of truth to it, but that may simply be wishful thinking on our part.

The Real Deal: Here's another rumor about The Rise of Skywalker—and one that, while unrelated to how the major events of the plot will go down, will nonetheless thrill fans if it turns out to be true. According to the ever-productive Making Star Wars, Rey will have found a new mentor in the ways of the Force at the beginning of Rise, and it's a surprise selection that only makes more sense the longer you think about it: Leia Organa will, apparently, be seen in the opening of the movie training Rey, with part of that scene apparently showing up in the D23 Special Look trailer. (It's Rey throwing her lightsaber, supposedly.) Given the secrecy surrounding what the late Carrie Fisher's role in the movie will be, don't expect this to be confirmed or refuted before the movie's release, but for want of a better way to put it, it feels right. And isn't the Force all about thinking less and feeling more?

Is The Mandalorian Going to Plug a Mythology Hole?

The Source: Teases offered by those working on the show

Probability of Accuracy: File under "This might be a Monkey's Paw situation."

The Real Deal: So, what exactly is The Mandalorian about, beyond simply looking really cool? According to show creator Jon Favreau and writer/director Dave Filoni, it's at least partially concerned with the rise of the First Order in the unexplored time gap between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. "This doesn't turn into a good guy universe because you blew up two Death Stars," Filoni told Entertainment Weekly. "You get that the Rebels won and they're trying to establish a Republic, but there's no way that could have set in for everybody all at once." Favreau added, "Also, what could happen in the 30 years between celebrating the defeat of the Empire and then the First Order? You come in on Episode VII, [the First Order are] not just starting out. They're pretty far along." The rise of the First Order has been alluded to in various pieces of Star Wars ephemera before now—not least of which being Chuck Wendig's Aftermath novel trilogy—but it'll be interesting to see if The Mandalorian presents the fullest picture to date about what transformed the Empire into its current evolution, or if these teases will just lead to, well, more teases.

These Aren't the Bombs You're Looking For

The Source: The TSA, of all things

Probability of Accuracy: As ridiculous as it seems, this is all real.

The Real Deal: In what might be one of the least anticipated stories of the year, the Transportation Security Administration surprised many when it banned Star Wars fans from packing the specially designed Coke bottles from Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge in their luggage because the fake thermal detonators looked too much like real detonators for comfort. The ban came because, it was explained, the packaging is a replica explosive, and replica explosives aren't allowed on planes. Faced with no small amount of fan uproar and just a little bit of ridicule, the TSA changed its mind a week later, confirming that it had "completed our review, and instructed our officers to treat these as an oversized liquid." As such, bottles can be packed in checked luggage or emptied and placed in carry-on bags. Now just wait for guidelines on lightsabers.

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